15 May 2013

Prayer and Release

 This scripture is my everything.  I have written about how heady I can be sometimes....to the point of sabotaging a good thing.  I'm there right now.

Life is so good.  In fact, I was driving today thinking to myself..."self, what a wonderful feeling it is to be in love with YOUR own life".  God has gone above and beyond in answering my prayers....yet sometimes when I get in the stillness of it all....I allow my mind to talk me out of that goodness.

Have you ever been there?

I'm working, daily in all honesty, to be mindful of my thoughts, and to shut down negative, self-defeating, sabotaging talk.  This is hard, silent work that goes on on the inside.  I can tell you from first hand...it's not easy work.  At times, like at this moment, I want to cry.  Not cry because anything bad happened, but just to release this emotion I can't assign a name to right now.  Am I missing someone? Do I feel something is missing?  I do not know....but I know that I can keep my mind on the good things....until these feelings go away.

I don't write this for sympathy.  I have always tried to be really upfront.  I don't want to give just the spotlight of the movie reel of my life and act like living a life of joy, peace and harmony doesn't take silent, intentional, and sometimes painful work.

Prayer and release. Prayer and release.  Prayer and release.

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