I write this post after much prayer and consideration about whether now is the time for me to say this. I came across the above picture on instagram one day, and it caused my spirit to leap. I have shared with you here my journey of going through a divorce, the challenges I have faced, my time of singlehood while healing.
I have entered a new season. A season of studying on what it means to be a good wife. Not just a wife by name because one wears a ring and is married to her husband, but a wife that God created us to be. The help meet He introduced to Adam in Genesis 2. The companion that is not just along for the ride, but the one who truly makes her husband's life better.
When I saw this picture, it personified everything I've been studying about and praying for. To be the kind of woman who, when I'm blessed with the opportunity to be a wife again, does not just go along for the ride....but is active in keeping our marriage firmly rooted in the Word so that it can bring glory to God first, and to be a true companion and help meet for my husband. I know this love and commitment has to be active, longstanding, continuous.
Since I have been married before, I realize just how fragile marriage can be. Because of this, I know the next time I enter into this union I will enter it under much guidance of the Holy Spirit. It has also been the guiding force behind my dating life. I take God at His Word when He says "He who finds a wife finds a good thing". I carry this in my dating relationship....because if at any moment he doesn't see the value that God has already said I am, we don't need to keep going down that path.
As I pray about being the wife God wrote about when he created me in Genesis, I also had to take an honest look at the wife I was in my first marriage. Through that I learned a lot of valuable lessons. The way I acted and reacted to things were totally of the flesh, so now in my dating relationship I am careful to seek Him first, and trust that His ways and will is more perfect. At this point in time, every single prayer I have prayed concerning my current dating relationship have been answered. To some it can seem leery. To some it can seem like I'm standing off. For me - I'd rather ask God to advise me in the situation than confront it on my own, unless and until God says it needs to be addressed. In all the instances where fear has tried to rear its ugly head, I have been dead wrong, which makes sense because the Word says perfect love casts out fear. I'm also learning when you're walking in His will - the things you normally want to worry about just have no space.
I also do a tremendous amount of watching married women. I watch how they talk about their husbands, how they honor them, how they walk with them, how they hold them up, I also notice the behaviors of things I don't want to be like. The wife's role and charge is a great one, and so I want to be a student of it for as long as I live.
I know the kind of wife I want to be. I know the kind of home I want to create for our family. The safe space. I know the care I want to practice in honoring my husband in all things. I am completely excited about! I desire to serve my husband, to lift his load, to be his fortress, and peace at the end of the day. I also look forward to carrying his babies! This kind of devotion can only come from a man that is submitted to Christ....which I now see so clearly. When a man is lead by Christ and submitted to Christ, I will happily and humbly submit to him!
I know I have a lot of readers who are married. I would love to hear about your lessons, your journey, and what you can advise this young woman who has tried it once, and the next time will be my forever!