09 September 2013

Not everyone deserves to hear your story

I love how social media literally connects us with the world, allows us to stay in contact with old acquaintances & aides in making us more global citizens.  For all its greatness, the truth is it creates a false sense of reality and we think we know the intricacies of someone's life by what they choose to post. 

This was a post I was prompted to make on Instagram this past weekend after much care and thought because I am literally SHOCKED that people feel like we owe them an explanation about the choices that we as grown adults have made, are making, and will make.  I was literally SHOCKED that people I barely talked to when living on the same campus feel the need to ask for more clarification.  I sat with this because we all know Niecy's sarcasm can often come off as just plain rudeness, but the more I sat with it the more absurd it seemed.  So you have questions? Great.  So you wonder what is going on? Fine.  To actually voice those questions and expect a response and the most we've shared is through social media  - ridiculous.

Then I started thinking, because that's what I do, about what it is that makes people feel comfortable asking questions, and in a public forum at that, like they are exposing some hidden truth. What is it about social media that makes us feel so connected that we want to know more?  We want to dig behind the pictures and statuses to the details. 

This is a new part of our consciousness.  Social media is a big part of our lives.  For all intent purposes, I feel like I am pretty selective about what I choose to post and share.  Yes - participating in social media is a choice.  Instead of being completely like "I can't believe she just asked that", I had to take a step back and look at my choices.  I choose to participate in social media. I choose to participate in a global community.  I choose to open up and live a life of transparency through my blog to help and inspire others.  These are my choices.  So on some level - I own it.  I own the questions. I own the inquiries.  On some level, however, it brings up so many questions for me.  The people who feel like they need to ask questions or not judge are not the wonderful people who I network with through social media.  They are the people who I know.  Not close friends but acquaintances.  They are people who know my story but yet aren't satisfied with what we choose to share.  They are the ones who want more...and on some level feel the right to ask for it.

What are your thoughts about the false illusion social media can create?  Do you have any stories to share?

So I ended my IG post with this:

Those who really know me know every step I take is ordered by much thought, more prayer, and even greater surrender.

The truth is, those who really know me don't have to ask for the story.  They already know.


  1. I don't mind sharing and I do share quite a bit. I figure if my life can be an inspiration to someone than my sharing wasn't in vain.

    Now, there is a thin line between reading between the lines and just being nosy. No matter how many times I have wanted to ask someone for clarification or additional information on something they have posted I won't. I won't simply for the fact that if they wanted that information out there they would've shared it.

    Social Media is truly creating an environment based on a lot of perception. However the truth of the matter is we still and always will own our own lives and we owe no one an explanation for that outside of what we decide to share.

    1. Absolutely! I have always taken that approach. Being that I went through a divorce when my son was so young, I found that through my respectful sharing of my journey, never badmouthing his father, so many were relating and receiving healing in their own situations. I have been asked to pray for more marriages as a separated and divorced woman because of the work God was able to do in me. I would be selfish to hold that all in.

      I feel like we need new social norms on how to handle this. People will share what they want out there, there is room for discussion but we shouldn't expect major answers. I'm glad you pointed that out - we will OWN our own lives. We must never forget that.

      Thank you so much for sharing your insights!!



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