Skip to main content

Feeling sorry

Lately I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself. It feels like these past 5 years have sped by and here I am just under 12 months away from turning 30 and I feel like I'm feeling pressure that I'm supposed to be in a certain position by then.

I think I certainly took the steps in my early 20s to build the vision for where I was supposed to be by the time I turned 30. If that was the case I'd be well settled into our mortgage on the house, Munchkin would probably have a sibling by now, presumably I'd feel like I was where I'd plan to be by the time I'm 30.

Lately, even though I'm totally happy, the reality of being sidetracked or rerouted has had me feeling anxious, scared, and a little sad.

Tonight, while in the shower, a song titled "You are God Alone" came on. I stood under the water with raised hands and started crying. Here I am. Worried. Scared. Anxious and God isn't concerned about any of that. To Him 40 years is but 1 hour. He is the Author of Time. The Maker of all things new. He who Was, and Is, and Is to come. What am I worrying about?

Tonight I surrender my worry. I surrender my comparison of the past and I pick up trusting The Lord. I pick up the promise that nothing is lost in Him and He can and will do all that He has promised. I lay down my anxiousness and sadness and pick up His Goodness. I look forward to my 40 years being but 1 hour.  He is God alone.


Popular posts from this blog

CVS Game

I'm back in the game ya'll!  Back in the day when Dave and I were newlyweds and had just bought our first house, I started playing the CVS coupon game.  I was able to stock up so much that I remember coming back a year later after moving back to New Mexico and Dave still had not had to buy toilet paper!
I haven't played in a very long time because coupling takes time. Recently, I came across this great Youtube channel and it seriously inspired me to jump back in. Right now I'm only dealing with CVS, I haven't bothered to begin planning for other shopping trips.
Jumping back in hasn't been with out flaws. Last week I watched Toni's video spent Friday night printing and clipping coupons, made my list, thought I had a plan, and then woke up Saturday morning ready to go. Something didn't work just right because I ended up spending about $120 out of pocket. I did save like $50 and the good news is I earned $15 in Extra Care Bucks (ECB). So this week I was r…

A Help Meet

I write this post after much prayer and consideration about whether now is the time for me to say this.  I came across the above picture on instagram one day, and it caused my spirit to leap.  I have shared with you here my journey of going through a divorce, the challenges I have faced, my time of singlehood while healing.

I have entered a new season.  A season of studying on what it means to be a good wife.  Not just a wife by name because one wears a ring and is married to her husband, but a wife that God created us to be.  The help meet He introduced to Adam in Genesis 2.  The companion that is not just along for the ride, but the one who truly makes her husband's life better.

When I saw this picture, it personified everything I've been studying about and praying for.  To be the kind of woman who, when I'm blessed with the opportunity to be a wife again, does not just go along for the ride....but is active in keeping our marriage firmly rooted in the Word so that it c…

Colin Kaepernick is bae

I really don't need to say anymore.  
I've been saying people with a platform need to take a stand. I didn't want any Black athletes to travel to Rio for the olympics to represent the USA. I realize that is a big thing to ask. That is the dichotomy of being Black in America.  Black athletes representing a country and winning gold medals in the name of a country who doesn't fully see us. 
So Kaepernick gets all my love for taking a stand by taking his seat.  Personal protests have always been the catalyst for greater awareness and action. 
Let me tell you a quick story. This summer at our Scentsy convention, Orville gave a moving and authentic speech that touched on the current times. I could see how he genuinely felt about what he was saying. There was a moment where this quote by a Scentsy consultant's husband was placed on the screen. I realized when he said "he's Black", everyone remained seated, but when he said "and he's a cop" eve…