11 January 2014

Singleness is not equal

When I separated from my husband, so many of my friends started coming to me asking me to pray for their marriages. I was always willing to pray for them, but I felt so insignificant and unqualified. Didn't they see how my fasting and praying for my own marriage wasn't yielding much? 

Over the past few years, I have prayed with and for many of my friends - single and married.  My single friends, including myself, desire to be married. My married friends are happy, but not without challenge. Everyone needs prayer and for God to be the head of their lives.

One thing I've learned is that singleness does not equal loneliness. I have prayed with many of friends who are lonely in their marriages. Some have gone through seasons where their spouse was going through a battle, and they felt extreme loneliness during this time. I know my single friends can feel lonely at times, and sometimes it as if we're just waiting to meet the one in order to lift that feeling. Loneliness is not synonymous with either relationship status. 

Because I know what it is like to be single, married, and single again, I know that you can be extremely happy in both circumstances. You can also experience extreme loneliness in either circumstance. Both singleness and marriage are gifts from God.

The secret for me is contentment.  I now understand on a real level what Paul meant when he wrote "I have learned to be content with whatever I have". Phillipians 4:11

Singleness does not equal loneliness but you have to believe and trust God that  He has you right where He wants you. I am guilty of thinking "well at least they have their husband to go through these hard times with".  You will be lonely if all you think about is getting married and who you will marry. God called us to focus on Him. To thirst for Him. To seek Him. To love Him. To desire Him.  Your loneliness is coming from focusing, thirsting, seeking, loving, desiring something other than Him. 
John 4:14

I pray for my single friends. That they not equate their time of singleness with loneliness. I pray for my married friends. That they not experience loneliness and separateness in their unity. I pray for everyone, no matter your relationship status, because no one is exempt from the emotions that can arise when we take our gaze off of God, whether single or married.

Be content right where God has you. In your singleness - focus on Him. In your marriage - focus on Him.

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