Skip to main content

Heartbreak



I have spent the last few months heartbroken. Completely. In a place I never imagined myself again. Sitting with my heart broken wide open.

It has been hard. Fighting for any bit of joy to get through my days. Oh how I remember this feeling. It hurts.

Yet there are some important lessons that being broken wide open has taught me:

1. God is real in my life. He was there the last time. He was there this time. He will be there the next time.

2. I was made to love. Deeply. Passionately. Loyally. Full on. It's the only way I'm willing to love. I am grateful for the way I love. I'm grateful that I do love. I'm grateful that I will love.

3. I have amazing friends. When I walked through my divorce, I was just a baby in my early twenties. My friends were super supportive, but I was the first to get married, the first to have a kid, the first to go through this kind of heartbreak. Now that we have all matured, my friends have experienced their own heartbreaks at one time or another, and their support has been unreal.

4. I will love - again and again. I am so proud of my heart. Even though it's been completely broken wide open, it is brave and will keep loving, again and again.  You have to be willing to sit with the pain and brokenness for a while to honor the way love showed up for you. I could easily tell a story in my head, take my attention elsewhere, or hurry the process, but that wouldn't honor the amazing work love did. I won't shortchange my heart just to get over it.  I will choose to sit with my heart. Even when it hurts.

I'm sure out of this will come many lessons I learn along the way that I'll share. I honestly never expected to be in this place again. I was good. Living happily focused completely on my son. Praying for God to keep me hidden until my prepared one was ready. Remember? So I'm finding my way back to what this all means again. I'm trusting God even more.

Love is a beautiful adventure and worth daring for. Great love takes great risks.



Comments

  1. Sending you a huge hug! God knows the kind of love you want and more importantly need! Praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much dear friend. I know without a doubt that God will use this part of my story for His glory!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

CVS Game

I'm back in the game ya'll!  Back in the day when Dave and I were newlyweds and had just bought our first house, I started playing the CVS coupon game.  I was able to stock up so much that I remember coming back a year later after moving back to New Mexico and Dave still had not had to buy toilet paper!
I haven't played in a very long time because coupling takes time. Recently, I came across this great Youtube channel and it seriously inspired me to jump back in. Right now I'm only dealing with CVS, I haven't bothered to begin planning for other shopping trips.
Jumping back in hasn't been with out flaws. Last week I watched Toni's video spent Friday night printing and clipping coupons, made my list, thought I had a plan, and then woke up Saturday morning ready to go. Something didn't work just right because I ended up spending about $120 out of pocket. I did save like $50 and the good news is I earned $15 in Extra Care Bucks (ECB). So this week I was r…

A Help Meet

I write this post after much prayer and consideration about whether now is the time for me to say this.  I came across the above picture on instagram one day, and it caused my spirit to leap.  I have shared with you here my journey of going through a divorce, the challenges I have faced, my time of singlehood while healing.

I have entered a new season.  A season of studying on what it means to be a good wife.  Not just a wife by name because one wears a ring and is married to her husband, but a wife that God created us to be.  The help meet He introduced to Adam in Genesis 2.  The companion that is not just along for the ride, but the one who truly makes her husband's life better.

When I saw this picture, it personified everything I've been studying about and praying for.  To be the kind of woman who, when I'm blessed with the opportunity to be a wife again, does not just go along for the ride....but is active in keeping our marriage firmly rooted in the Word so that it c…

Colin Kaepernick is bae

I really don't need to say anymore.  
I've been saying people with a platform need to take a stand. I didn't want any Black athletes to travel to Rio for the olympics to represent the USA. I realize that is a big thing to ask. That is the dichotomy of being Black in America.  Black athletes representing a country and winning gold medals in the name of a country who doesn't fully see us. 
So Kaepernick gets all my love for taking a stand by taking his seat.  Personal protests have always been the catalyst for greater awareness and action. 
Let me tell you a quick story. This summer at our Scentsy convention, Orville gave a moving and authentic speech that touched on the current times. I could see how he genuinely felt about what he was saying. There was a moment where this quote by a Scentsy consultant's husband was placed on the screen. I realized when he said "he's Black", everyone remained seated, but when he said "and he's a cop" eve…