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Showing posts from August, 2016

My son is now a big brother

My ex-husband welcomed another child to the world last weekend. My son is now a big brother. It's something I've known was coming since Christmas. It's something people don't talk about. 
I don't know why. I don't want to live a life unaffected. Journeying through as if major life events don't take my breath away, knock me to my knees, whimpering in bed at night. Life affects me.
I remember when David told me he was having another baby. It felt like a life sentence.  I remember abandoning prayers that although separated, our family unit would remain intact. I remember staying silent because it wasn't my story to tell. I remember wearing the narrative like a heavy coat.  
I cried. I was mad. Sad. Confused. Angry.  Affected. Why don't people talk about this? 
Then one day I woke up at peace. I'm never afraid to do my work. To find the place where love abides.  I recognize that we are always, in all ways, healing. Yet this was something I didn't wan…